Read This If You Think You Should Be Yourself

Photo by mari lezhava on Unsplash

"Be yourself and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Stick to your guns."

"Not everyone will like you, just keep doing you."

Have you heard any of these before?

I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with being yourself--sort of.

I mean, let's get real here.

What if you're a jerk?

Here's an example:

Steve Jobs did some impactful work, but there are 2 things that Jobs fans often forget.

1. Steve Jobs didn't do anything by himself, he had Steve Wozniak as his chief integrator to get stuff done.

2. Steve Jobs was a jerk to a lot of people.

What's important about this is the outcome and then also "how" the outcome was achieved, specifically, I'm talking about working relationships.

It's great if you're making an impact, but it's not great if you're not treating others with respect. Impact and respect are NOT mutually exclusive!

So, do you think "keep doing you" is good advice for Steve Jobs? Maybe in part.

I think better advice might be "be true to your beliefs and empathize with others."

Or maybe something like "be genuine, honest, and respectful."

So, be yourself AND make sure you're auditing the feedback that's around you.

This gets harder if you've built a lifetime reputation of being difficult to work with because, at some point, the feedback people are willing to provide you might not be honest since honest feedback has gotten them nowhere with you in the past. But that's a deeper story.

2 Minute Action:

Every couple of years, I put together an anonymous feedback form and send it to the folks who know me best or who have worked with me closely.

Some people fill it out. Some of them just call me and say "let's talk through this in person."

There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's, here.

In 2 minutes, you can call a trusted friend or create an anonymous Google form that you can send out.

Do you (iterate). Get feedback (measure). Understand the feedback (learn). Revise your approach (reiterate).

Here are some questions you can steal from me, for your own feedback form:

• What are 3 of my superpowers?

• What might be 3 of my biggest weaknesses?

• What do you think is the best part of working with me?

• What might be the most challenging part of working with me?

• If you had telekinesis, what would you make me automatically understand?