They Didn't Tell You This In Youth Soccer
Sacrifice, loyalty, and relationships.
Did you ever play sports as a kid?
Do you remember what your coaches used to say?
They used to say things like “sacrifice the body for the ball,” and “always give 150%.”
Well, I hate to break it to ya coach, but that’s not really reasonable.
We get the sentiment. Work hard. We got it. Thanks. But it turns out that life isn’t as much like youth soccer as we thought. It’s less about how hard you work and it’s more about opportunities. It’s less about how much you sacrifice and it’s more about who you know.
It also turns out that it doesn’t really matter how much we’ve sacrificed for the company. Layoffs happen. Loyalty is one-way only in this case.
So, if the youth soccer model doesn’t work, what do we do?
There are 2 concepts that have helped me adjust this approach and focus on the right work.
1 - Invest in relationships
People are everything. B2B or B2C, in a drive-thru window or at a board meeting, people are present. They remember how they feel and it’s what we feel that forms the basis of our decisions.
“No one has ever said, ‘I’m too well respected and I’m too well-liked, I can’t find any work.’ “
-Seth Godin
It’s our relationships that hold the trust required to engage in meaningful work. It’s our relationships that allow for honest, critical, and authentic conversations. It’s our relationships that make us feel like we even belong in the world. Before any “work” can start, these need to be in place. This is non-negotiable.
2 - Find work that requires little effort but high reward
This relates to productivity and opportunity, but the point is about focus. When we focus on doing the essentials that require 20% of the time but give us 80% of the reward, we can move faster. In this case, I’m defining “reward” as resources like money and time, but also benefits like professional development or fun. All-out sacrifice just isn’t practical. The truth is that the people in charge have no intention of holding the line with you.
I hope this doesn’t sound too cynical for a Friday. My point in sharing this is to help us uncover some of those beliefs that we’ve held for years and give them an honest and hard reality check.
I think most of us grew up with at least part of this narrative, so I hope this helps you challenge it.