An Analysis of 134 Geniuses Reveals The 5 Simple Ways Genius Happens
What's really going on behind the crazy hair?
Last night (March 31st), I stayed up pretty late diving into the subject of human genius. Over the last 16 hours, I’ve done an analysis of 134 known geniuses and their daily habits.
Of course, lucky us, 5 habits stood out—at least, once I was able to pin enough red string to my walls connecting all the old news articles, photographs, and letters so that I could connect the dots and see the pattern this morning, on April 1st.
It took a while, and my underground lab is a mess, but it was worth it.
Alas, I reveal them to you here:
Drink more water than you think.
Did you know that the human body is made of 104% water? To keep ourselves moisturized, it’s important to drink no less than 6 liters of water with those expensive little electrolyte tablets dissolved in them.
Don’t wash your hair.
I know, it sounds weird, but it’s true. The oils produced by your scalp actually help lubricate it and keep your brain’s temperature regulated properly. By using shampoo and combing your hair every day, you’re losing the ability to keep your brain at top performance. Drinking enough water helps with this.
Blast classical music.
Classical music makes people smart. In fact, it’s only smart people who can bear to listen to it at all. What’s interesting about this is that by turning up the volume of your classical music, we see better ear drum penetration. Another useful but unintended benefit is that others will think you’re crazy and leave you alone with your work. Amazing.
Use dry ice for everything.
Oddly, there were no obvious connections to how dry ice impacted the 134 geniuses I studied, but nearly all of them had it in their labs. Although this one isn’t understood quite yet, I think it’s best to just have some dry ice in those glass beakers anyway—just in case. Use it for cocktails, take it with you into the bath, or just make it part of your hydration schedule (see Drink Water above). Dry ice should be part of your normal routine.
Get into rocket propulsion.
I’m sure a career change doesn’t feel practical for everyone, but a startling percentage of the geniuses I analyzed were into rockets and nuclear physics. There’s something about uranium exposure that really lights up new neural pathways. I’m not quite sure what it is—there is little documentation on this—but nuclear radiation is a powerful and underutilized tool.
That’s it! Those are the biggest, most influential factors in becoming a real, live genius.
I hope these never-before-revealed habits spark your curiosity and help you become the mad genius you were always meant to be.
Happy April Fool’s Day.