The psychology of perfectionism

The Daily Drip

Ah, yes, perfectionism.

Every time I look in the mirror, my mind fixates on the imperfections instead of looking at positive attributes. It seems counter-productive, but it’s actually an ‘adaptive trait’ for people — it’s been built over years of evolution.

As humans evolved, those who paid more attention to negative or threatening stimuli around them were more likely to defend themselves, avoid risky situations, and survive to pass on their genes.

If you’re afraid of snakes or spiders, this evolutionary adaptation is likely to blame.

In psychology, it’s called attentional vigilance, and it’s part of a critical feedback loop with your emotional brain that helps you make decisions.

The problem happens when we’re hyper-vigilant to these stimuli and can’t un-focus from them easily. We fixate on ‘bad’ features, ruminate on past experiences, and criticize imperfections without stepping back and looking at all of the amazing parts of ourselves.

Learning to disconnect from these thoughts and re-centering on helpful or useful thoughts is our goal and it takes practice. No one is born with this skill. It's learned. Remember that our brains evolved this way?

To manage this, I've used tools like meditation and have put mentors around me to help them remind me of what I sometimes can't see.

How do you pull yourself away from self-destructive thoughts and perfectionism?

What tools and resources do you use?